[ for the days that she slumbered, she knew nothing of the station, nothing of the world below — nothing of her brothers. upon waking, she wishes to find them, but the Natha are calling them to the simulation, and she goes —
only to stumble out of it disoriented and nauseous, to lock herself in the first empty room she finds. later, she makes it to the stasis, to see whether any of her family have woken; she walks out feeling cold and tired and bruises around her wrists.
it takes her a moment to respond to Jon — the choking sense of relief she feels upon seeing his face, hearing his voice, it is too much. ]
Jon —
[ her voice precedes the video that follows, showing a room on the station, her sitting on one of the beds, the embroidered wolf's head on the front of her dress catching the faint light in the room. ]
Yes, Jon, I am here. How long — how long since you last heard of me? [ she remembers being at the Silk Wyrms, remembers walking the way home, and then nothing. she has no idea how long it has been between that and her waking up here on the station. ]
[The relief is palpable, more than he could express. While exhaustion and discomfort is written on her face, it's brushed aside in his mind in place of simply having her presence again. There was no question about where she was, but the fact that she could have continued in stasis cut through him.
How did she go missing without his notice? Had he become so wrapped up in his mission and work among the royal guard that he forgot to pay mind at what Sansa was doing and where she was?
They were no longer in the North. While she was capable of ruling Winterfell and managing a number of armies, this world was full of dangers they didn't know or could anticipate. He would remain worried for her for a time, he imagined.]
Several days.
[There is guilt in his eyes, a silent apology being conveyed to her for his failure to find her.]
[ his guilt is answered in her smile, soft and forgiving — she knows he would blame himself, because Jon always does, no matter what it is that happens... and this, this he couldn't have prevented no more than she could stop falling asleep again. ]
I don't know. I felt a little strange, I was coming home from the Silk Wyrms, You was teaching me to work one of the machines that you can use to make clothes... that is all I remember. The next thing is waking up here on the station.
[ it makes as little sense to her as it must do to him, but at least she is awake, now. ] Are you alright? Are Robb and Theon still there?
[It's disturbing to think how quickly they can be pulled out of their daily lives to stasis, filled with memories they didn't remember having before. But she was here and she was safe. That was what mattered.]
Aye, they're here. The only reason it is quiet is because they are both out.
[Thank the Gods for that, at least.]
Robb will be glad to see you. [A pause.] You remember Rickon? The battle?
I will be glad to see him. [ she pauses, looks around — almost like she's trying to find a sign of Robb there in their house, something concrete to tell her he's really going to be back. ] ... it seemed like a dream, after waking up. I thought I'd imagined it all, him being alive again.
[ but Jon's question makes the tentative smile on her lips die away into something colder, tired and sad. ]
I wake everyday thinking that. [He doubted the shock would wear off any time soon. Speaking to him of future events was surreal and unnerving all at once. All of this seemed closer to a dream than reality.] It's not a dream.
[He doesn't know if he should be glad or ashamed that she remembers what happened to Rickon. It was his fault.]
[ it wasn't, it wasn't. she won't blame him for Rickon's death — she can't. ]
It was all Ramsay. Don't take the blame for something he did... it wasn't you who killed Rickon. He was dead the moment Ramsay caught him. Even if he had made it to you... he wouldn't have survived the battle. You may not have survived, trying to protect him. I could have lost both of you.
[He dismissed her then because she provided no answers, nothing that seemed substantial. Or maybe he didn't believe his younger sister understood how strategy worked. It was his mistake for not listening and his mistake for charging ahead.
He would always carry that guilt.]
It was because of you we won and that I did survive. I wish you had told me about Littlefinger's offer. I can't say I would have been glad for his help, but we needed the men.
[ she cannot tell him no, because she knows he is right — but just as he should have listened to her, so should she have explained better, been more honest. she had not done all she could to make sure he knew just how horrible Ramsay truly was... that was her fault.
she says nothing until the question comes; when it does, her eyes widen and she reaches for his hand. ]
Yes. Jon, of course I do. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about the men of the Vale... I should have told you.
[He shook his head. He wouldn't let her feel guilt over that. He wasn't sure if he would have listened or accepted Baelish's help, even if it was offered. She had done what she thought was best and it was because of her judgement that they prevailed.
It didn't change the sting of it, but it was fair, given how little he trusted her before too. They could change that, at least.]
It doesn't matter now. I just want us to trust each other here. This is all we have and we need to stay together. We are stronger that way.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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only to stumble out of it disoriented and nauseous, to lock herself in the first empty room she finds. later, she makes it to the stasis, to see whether any of her family have woken; she walks out feeling cold and tired and bruises around her wrists.
it takes her a moment to respond to Jon — the choking sense of relief she feels upon seeing his face, hearing his voice, it is too much. ]
Jon —
[ her voice precedes the video that follows, showing a room on the station, her sitting on one of the beds, the embroidered wolf's head on the front of her dress catching the faint light in the room. ]
Yes, Jon, I am here. How long — how long since you last heard of me? [ she remembers being at the Silk Wyrms, remembers walking the way home, and then nothing. she has no idea how long it has been between that and her waking up here on the station. ]
no subject
How did she go missing without his notice? Had he become so wrapped up in his mission and work among the royal guard that he forgot to pay mind at what Sansa was doing and where she was?
They were no longer in the North. While she was capable of ruling Winterfell and managing a number of armies, this world was full of dangers they didn't know or could anticipate. He would remain worried for her for a time, he imagined.]
Several days.
[There is guilt in his eyes, a silent apology being conveyed to her for his failure to find her.]
What happened? How did you go back into stasis?
no subject
I don't know. I felt a little strange, I was coming home from the Silk Wyrms, You was teaching me to work one of the machines that you can use to make clothes... that is all I remember. The next thing is waking up here on the station.
[ it makes as little sense to her as it must do to him, but at least she is awake, now. ] Are you alright? Are Robb and Theon still there?
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Aye, they're here. The only reason it is quiet is because they are both out.
[Thank the Gods for that, at least.]
Robb will be glad to see you. [A pause.] You remember Rickon? The battle?
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[ but Jon's question makes the tentative smile on her lips die away into something colder, tired and sad. ]
... yes. I remember.
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[He doesn't know if he should be glad or ashamed that she remembers what happened to Rickon. It was his fault.]
I'm sorry.
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[ it wasn't, it wasn't. she won't blame him for Rickon's death — she can't. ]
It was all Ramsay. Don't take the blame for something he did... it wasn't you who killed Rickon. He was dead the moment Ramsay caught him. Even if he had made it to you... he wouldn't have survived the battle. You may not have survived, trying to protect him. I could have lost both of you.
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[He dismissed her then because she provided no answers, nothing that seemed substantial. Or maybe he didn't believe his younger sister understood how strategy worked. It was his mistake for not listening and his mistake for charging ahead.
He would always carry that guilt.]
It was because of you we won and that I did survive. I wish you had told me about Littlefinger's offer. I can't say I would have been glad for his help, but we needed the men.
[It didn't matter now.]
Do you trust me, Sansa?
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she says nothing until the question comes; when it does, her eyes widen and she reaches for his hand. ]
Yes. Jon, of course I do. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about the men of the Vale... I should have told you.
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It didn't change the sting of it, but it was fair, given how little he trusted her before too. They could change that, at least.]
It doesn't matter now. I just want us to trust each other here. This is all we have and we need to stay together. We are stronger that way.
What was it father used to say? About the pack?